The Jolly Hog

Sunday, April 11 2021

The Jolly Hog, Outdoor Bred, Proper Porker

Now, before we get under way in this little sausage fest blog, I should give you a brief low down as to why on earth I'm even doing it!!

I was approached many weeks ago now, By Rate My Sausage, and I think you'll all agree, quite reputedly now near legendary, Rate My Sausage, It's a rather upmarket version of the lower, rather substandard alternative " Rate My " sites that we've all come to see out there, And One can only assume that they have ran out of people to ask, And So they have resorted to approaching randoms!! ME!!

But!! Having coated a 1.5kg ostrich egg in 10kg of Cumberland sausage and deep fried it a few years past, I know a thing or six about sausages and the meat thereof, So why not I thought,

So to cut a long story even longer, I obviously said yes, Even though, It's unpaid ( aren't they all ) I'm busy enough as it is, I'm liable to get sued, if not sued, the very least followed to my car!!!

And So we begin, Weeks had passed and I hadn't even given a minute of my time to this, Not even a thought, To be fair It's hard enough remembering my own name on occasion, far less, to remember to do a task someone has so politely asked of me, so feeling a tad guilty, I skipped off to my local supermarket, I'm only allowed inside one nowadays, And that has to be accompanied by another adult, as I'm barred from the others, A stupid reason really, but they didn't take kindly to me shouting

" Why are you selling asparagus from Peru? "

AND

" WTF is Vietnamese River Cobbler? "

AND

Questioning the store managers parentage!!

Now, the reason for this was solely to go and buy their own brand sausage, and completely rip it to shreds in my now, self proclaimed role as, Sausage Captain!!

So, whilst waltzing around said supermarket, I stumbled upon the " Reduced " section, Who cannot but stand and gaze at all of those yellow stickers?

And I spotted these